Isn’t it crazy how life itself can be so contradictory and ironic? It’s not at all difficult to understand where the saying “You can’t win for losing” came from.
I was listening to a couple of my friends at work venting about things. It was the whole “damned if you do; damned if you don’t” scenario. That started turning the wheels in my head. It’s really true…sometimes you truly are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You just have to make the decision of which damnation is worse and go from there.
The more I listened to these friends talk, the more I realized that we have no choice about taking risks in our life. Sometimes the risks pay off and sometimes they don’t. The fear of them not working out sometimes leave us so worried that we aren’t even enjoying life and the whole point of taking the risk is to make a better life. Right?
On more than one occasion, someone has asked me why I do all the “crazy” things I do and why can’t I just be content doing nothing. My answer? I don’t necessarily believe in reincarnation and if I’m only here for a short while, I want to experience as much of this life as I can. I don’t care if anyone thinks I am crazy. I am full of life and I want to live it. Still, I am not one to tempt fate by doing something foolishly dangerous. I don’t have a death wish after all. But if something should happen to me while I am enjoying my life, I won’t have any regrets. Some people are so concerned with what other people think of them that they never really find out who they are. That’s just not me. I know and like who I am. And whatever anyone says about me when I’m dead and gone is fine with me. I am reminded of a verse from a Jimmy Buffett song that says, “I’d rather die while I’m living than live when I’m dead.” And that pretty much sums up my thoughts. I would rather die tonight having experienced the things that I have than to take them all back and live until I am 100 and live in people’s memories as the old woman who had a million dreams and great ideas but never did a thing with them.
Jimmy Buffett must be a better writer than me! It took him one line to make a statement. It took me many lines to make my point! Hahaha! :0)
In that we wish to remain secret, it is foolish to confide
Yet some secrets are self destructive if undeclared inside
Often those in whom we trust dim the faith we hold in ourselves
Yet without faith in our own capacity, we trust not in anyone else
The attempts we make in hopes of gain too often leave us striving
Yet without any of these endeavors our lives will never become thriving
The guarded heart is secure, but remains empty and unfilled
Yet taking the chance to love, may inflict wounds that can’t be healed
We suppress painful memories which we loathe to recall
Yet without remembering, we forget how to avoid that fall
Our peace can be destroyed; replaced with worry and fear
Yet not knowing anxiety, we take for granted serenity so dear
We wish for better times; dreaming ahead for what we lack
Yet all the while, precious time ticks by that we will never gain back
We wish to discover and we question and we implore
Yet often the answers we seek to find are best left unexplored
We live this thing called life in a contrary state
We live on the reliance of a quirk of fate
We live afraid of living life; still we live to evade our deaths we dread
Yet not seeing that our fears to live have already pronounced us dead
Stand By Your Ham
4 hours ago
12 comments:
That was a thought provoking poem. It pretty much summed up my own feelings.
I find it hard to be content. Not monetarily, may I add. I dont care much for money (although I do care how big my paycheck is). I just feel I am more alive when I am down and out. I thrive against a challenge. Life makes more sense to me when the chips are down. When the going is smooth, I just forget how hard I had to work to get here. When the going is tough I am forced to find answers. I feel so much closer to my being. Subconcsiously, thus, I try and look to mess my life up. So I can live.
Anyway, I like your poetry. I used to write poetry too and I wrote a couple of poems that I thought were really good. Its a pity I wrote by hand and cant find them anymore. I promise if I can find them I will post them.
Thanks Yrautca. You're really cool. I hope you can find those poems. I like how your mind works and I would love to read your poetry.
Well i did write one poem on my blog about how my life and my literature of choice changes. See if you can find it. otherwise i will find it for you.
my poems dont rhyme as nicely as yours.
I'll have to find it and read it.
Hey, I need to be on Seattle time. It's past midnight here and I'm wide awake! Ugggh. At least tomorrow is Friday. :)
I will see if I can find it for you. You better get to bed now. Its LATE!!! I did open my old folders to see if i can find a poem. I will post it if i can.
Here it is:
My life was a prologue to a book
Slow but thoughtful
My life became a novel
Full of drama, pain, misery
My life became a play
Only dialogue, no character development
My life became a short story
No beginning, concise, no ending
My life became a poem
But the words didn’t rhyme
My life became an obituary
On page five of the Local paper
Ok...cool. I hope you can find it. I was perusing your blog in search for it, but I kept getting sucked into reading other posts. haha.
I believe that I will go to bed now. I'm not sleepy, though. Seems I am fighting my old friend insomnia again. Guess it'll be a visit to Starbucks first thing in the morning again.
Good night, Y...
Ahhh...so you found it! Very nice. Great poetry doesn't have to rhyme. Most everything I write does rhyme however. I guess it comes from working with young kids. You know...too much Dr. Suess! ;)
G'night...
OD -- I totally get how you feel. To me it's ery important to live life to the fullest. I love to travel, like you, and I often find that I am planning my next trip before I even get from the first one. It drives Hubby crazy but I've always got to have some sort of goal to work towards. It makes me happy and keeps me motivated. I have to really stop myself for going someplace fun EVERY weekend, but I try to get to as many places as possible. I don't want to be one of those people who says "I'll travel when I retire" and then die at 50 or something. I guess I just have a need to see as much of the world as soon as possible.
We suppress painful memories which we loathe to recall
Yet without remembering, we forget how to avoid that fall
This is so true. Your poem is well worded.
I'm with you - the time to live is now. Just do it. I've been living a different life since losing my husband 2 years ago. Reunited with my very first Beau, fell deeply in love with him all over again, have traveled to the other side of the world, and ... the list is growing.
I am so with you, do everything you can while you can. I am all about adventures and what is the point of living without them??
Scott
So very true indeed.
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