Stalker-free

Today is a personal celebration of sorts, for I have been stalker-free for a month today!

Yes, until one month ago, I had a stalker. Not one of those I have a crush on you so I will follow you around and "happen to be at the same place at the same time as you" stalkers. He was an Oh my God I hope he doesn't kill me type of stalker. Here is my story...

In November, we had parent-teacher conferences. I knew that this day would be a great day to dress down and get some dirty work done, such as rearranging the supplies closet. I happened to wear my Merrell low-top hikers, which happen to look quite similar to sneakers with a good-gripping sole. Merrell rules! I will never own another brand of hiking shoes, boots, or sandals. If I want comfort, such as on this paricular day, I am in one of my pairs of Merrells.

One of the creepy dads came for his son's conference. It is important for me to stress that the only thing I said that was not in relation to his son's progress or behavioral issues was in reply to his comment about my shoes. He said, "You must be a hiker." I responded with, "Yes, Merrell is the best!"

This somehow gave him the impression that it would be okay to "talk to me privately" not about his son, but about where I go hiking, to which I always gave a vague response such as, "You know, the mountains." He is divorced from the boy's mom and his only day for pick up from school was on Wednesdays At least I only had to deal with him on Wednedays. The next thing I knew, he was slipping me his business card with phone number and creepy email address that included the words "secret santa" in it. I kid you not! He told me to contact him about a hiking trip. Of course, I didn't. Everytime I saw him he would say something like, "Everyday I think today could be the day you will email me and then you don't." He moved on to "volunteering" to do things in the classroom and staring at me and making me uncomfortable.

The uncomfortable feeling progressed into fear as time went on and he began waiting for me in the parking lot and refusing to take NO for an answer. I talked with my boss. I talked with co-workers. I let this weirdo know that he was making me uncomfortable and acting inappropriately. This did not make a difference. No one seemed to take my concerns seriously. I talked to a police officer that was a parent of student in another class. He informed me that there was really nothing I could do since Stalker, as a parent, had the right to be at the school his child attends. I told the police officer about the time Stalker waited for me in the parking lot and called out to me when I was walking to my car. I turned to go back into the building so that he would not know which car was mine, but he ran to catch up to me and grabbed me by the arm and said, "You still haven't written me or called. You must just be too busy?" I told him that no, I wasn't busy, but don't have interactions with parents outside of their children's business. He refused to accept this answer and said, "You are just too busy with the holidays about. We will go somewhere after the new year." According to the police officer, this one time did not constitute a stalking. In anger, I explained that the only reason this was a one time deal was because I now knew what vehicle he drives (a van with no backseat by the way!) and will not leave the building until he is gone, even though he waits around an hour for me and this causes me to be late to my second job at the tutoring center. This did not matter. I was terrified and no one cared.

I kept (and still keep) this creep's card on my desk. I called Best Friend and told her where it was located just in case I wound up missing (or worse) and told her to tell my uncaring police department to check this creep's van for my fingerprints if this should happen. If he would have attacked me, I would have left my prints all over his van.

An attack seems so extreme, but I really began to fear this. He became angry with my refusing to go "hike" with him. Not to go into detail, but he even made attempts to get me in trouble at work and bad-mouthed me to another parent! I would run off and hide in another classroom when I saw him coming and he would ask around for me and try to follow me. He stared at me so creepily and sometimes threateningly. I am usually not afraid of anything (except as everyone knows, snakes). I had only one really awful feeling about another human once in my life and it turned out he was a stabber. (See my post from Feb. "Stabber on the trail!") I was always watching over my shoulder. I would dread Wednesdays so much that I would not sleep a wink on Tuesday nights. I cried myself to sleep. I would get sick to my stomach. I had nightmares. I was jumpy everyday as I walked across the parking lot to my car, looking over my shoulder, finger on the trigger of the pepper spray I bought just for him.

It turns out my intuition was right-on about Stalker. The reason I am stalker free today is because this creep is under investigation for sexually abusing his own children! His ex took out a restraining order against him for the children and therefore he cannot pick up his son anymore. What a sick mo-fo! And furthermore, after chatting with the ex, she informed me that I should be very careful because he is really crazy and tried to kill her once. He beat her up pretty badly. I knew he had it in him to try to kill me. Anyone who would try to take my life, wouldn't get me without quite a fight. But it is still so scary to think that there is a possibility that someone out there may want to murder you. I will always trust my inner instinct! Always.

So today I celebrate my sanity (what little I have. haha) and I am thankful for a peaceful day's work, where I can do my job and go home and leave it behind. I again appreciate a life where I feel free to wear Merrell hiking gear without running to my car armed with pepper spray. Life is good today.