…with myself.
…according to my co-worker.
This is a total fabrication. It’s so untrue that it can’t be farther from the truth! Yet this notorious and absurd accusation has actually helped me to learn a couple of new things about myself.
Co-worker was just joking around when she said it. While discussing life in general, she began, as always, complaining about how much she hates her husband. The subject changed over to me and the reappearance of a guy into my life from the not-so-distant past (It was actually more of a phone call and less of an appearance, but whatever.) I tell her that since things were never that serious between the guy and me, we might be able to hang out, but his chance at romance was lost way back when he decided he wanted to act like a jerk about a year ago. Co-worker commented on the fact that I seem to rule out all the guys in my life. I think about it for a minute…yep, it’s true. But it’s because I only meet wishy-washy jerks and not nice guys. She told me that there is only one guy that she never hears me trash and she thinks it is because he and I were so much alike that it was like I was dating myself and that was why I was happy with him. Whaaa? It’s true that this guy and I were very much on the same page but….
Co-worker laughed her comment off and says that she is only kidding and admits that I do always meet (sometimes well-disguised) losers and agrees that she would also be complaining about them if she were me, just as much as she already does her own husband. But it’s too late. The seed has been planted. Am I really that self-absorbed? Am I really in love with myself?
So I’m home at the end of the day, kicking my shoes off and stripping out of work clothes. Then I noticed my framed photos on the walls of my bedroom. Every one of them were ones I had taken myself on my travels. Hmmm. I walk into the kitchen for some cold water and walk right past an oil painting on the wall. Yeah, the one I painted. Could it be true?
I actually stopped to think about this! I consider myself a very humble person and consider myself pretty ordinary. I certainly am not vain. In conclusion, I answered no to the question. The pictures I had taken were of things I thought were beautiful and that’s why they were up, not because I had taken them. My oil painting is hanging up for two reasons. One, it’s the only one of my paintings that I have left since I gave all my others away. And two, where else can I put the thing except on a wall? Additionally, important to note is that I have nothing bad to say about the above-noted ex-boyfriend because he was never a jerk to me and we had a lot of fun and understanding between us, not because he was like me.
So, no, I am not in love with myself. But I do like who I am. I am fun, always laughing, appreciate the small things in life, am easy to get along with, and (usually) very patient. I enjoy being a learner in life, full of different experiences.
I also admitted to myself that I am a grounded, responsible, stable individual who is also a free-spirited dreamer. Sometimes I believe these two combined traits make me a well-rounded individual. Other times, these two sides of me clash and fight against one another. This sensible, responsible side of me that fears starvation and homelessness is the creature of habit that persuades me to save money and go to work everyday, even when I am very sick. That other side is dreaming about how great it would be to leave everything behind and become an island hopper that sells ice cream to tourists to support my beach bum habits. But the latter side will never win. I know which side I need to listen to. And I do. But I hate that bitch sometimes.
So that rang in my second realization of the day. With the mention of what kind of guys I have had in my life, I have concluded that I do not need nor want a guy who is just like me. I already know me. I want to learn and appreciate someone with differences. We can learn from one another. As long as he respects me for who I am, we don’t have to have every little thing in common. Besides, we’ll find our own things we like to do together.
I think the ideal man for me would be one who is more like the responsible side of me. One who will enjoy planning one really great vacation a year and will remind me that it’s too financially draining to travel around the world twice in one year. One who will enjoy a long drive and like to take a hike now and then, yet gives me a reason to want to stay home rather than a reason to hide away in a canyon on the other side of the country. One who will indulge me in a camping trip one autumn weekend so that I can see the colorful leaves falling from the trees, but will also indulge me in something that he really enjoys so I can share his passion.
I don’t need someone that is too much like me or else we might quit our jobs and hike across Europe in the Alps. Just kidding. I think the responsible voice would speak before that ever happened. And as I mentioned in a previous post, I am having fun in travel and adventure now until I meet him.
The point is that I know what kind of guy I am looking for. He has some common ground with me but he is different from me.
And the best thing about being with him after I find him, is knowing for sure that I am in love with him and not with myself! :)
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The Summer and The Competition
The Summer...
During her surprise visit to Georgia this past weekend, Best Friend and I had the opportunity to discuss our summer plans. We have so much on our list of things to do! We are going to try our best to accomplish the entire list. I have a feeling that we will be able to accomplish most of it at the very least (unless something terrible and unforeseen happens).
So far, here’s what’s on the table…
*A visit to Glacier National Park, MT and across the Canadian border to Waterton National Park.
*Visit to Seattle, Washington to see the touristy sites and then over to Olympic National Park.
*Hike Ben Lomond Peak, Utah. (This is the Paramount Pictures iconic mountain.)
*Back to my beloved Grand Teton National Park, WY to hike the Paintbrush Divide Trail to Cascade Canyon and down to Jenny Lake.
*Hike a slot canyon. (Not sure of which one yet but Antelope Canyon in Page, AZ or either Spooky Canyon or Peek-a-boo Canyon in UT are looking good.)
*Rock climbing along the new via-ferrata trail in Ogden, UT.
*Visiting Royal Peacock Opal Mine (to strike it rich, of course) in NV, while stopping along the way to take pics of the Donner Party’s wagon ruts on the salt flats and a pic of the Earth’s curvature (one of the only places in the world that it is visible). I will also be sure to grab another handful of salt from the Bonneville Salt Flats. (I left a ziplock baggie of it in Best Friend’s car the last time.)
*Jeeping in Moab (If we can get a small group together to do that. I’m going to be on a too-tight budget this time for just Best Friend and me.)
*Time permitting, visit Dinosaur National Monument on the Utah/Colorado border and drive up to Flaming Gorge Recreation Area north of there along the UT/WY border.
The Competition...
Okay, most of you already know about my Hotness Plan. I have been working at this for a while (but not too hard). The original adventure plan for the summer was to go on the Bahamas trip I won, but it has been pushed back to a later date now since I decided to live out west all summer. Well, thinking that I was going to be on the beach, I knew I wanted to look my best in my bikini. (yeah…I am actually going to wear one!) That was the first motivation of my Hotness Plan. The second part of the motivation hails from my desire to push my endurance limits so that I can enjoy more hiking and such.
Anyway, I informed Best Friend that I wasn’t going to slack off much from my Hotness Plan even if we weren’t going to the Bahamas because I still wanted to be hot for the summer. So she proceeds to tell me that I won’t be any hotter than her. The slamming begins. She tells me that she is going to be hotter than me because she is curvier. I laugh in her face over this preposterous statement. I have an hour-glass figure, thank you! (It just needs fine-tuning, that’s all!) I challenge her to a competition. Let’s have someone else settle this score!
She suggests that we poll people. In Utah, where she lives and knows 100 times as many people than me? Nope. I’m not going for that! We need neutral outsiders, I say. She agrees. We think of how to lure in unsuspecting men. I think we should advertise a bikini mud wrestling between us. As much as I love her, it’s going to be hard for me to humiliate her in such a defeat. But not too hard. Let the smack-down begin!
I think we should charge an admittance fee, also. It would help finance our spectacular summer.
By the way, my dear Best Friend, you are only curvier than me if you count fat rolls. Zing! ;)
During her surprise visit to Georgia this past weekend, Best Friend and I had the opportunity to discuss our summer plans. We have so much on our list of things to do! We are going to try our best to accomplish the entire list. I have a feeling that we will be able to accomplish most of it at the very least (unless something terrible and unforeseen happens).
So far, here’s what’s on the table…
*A visit to Glacier National Park, MT and across the Canadian border to Waterton National Park.
*Visit to Seattle, Washington to see the touristy sites and then over to Olympic National Park.
*Hike Ben Lomond Peak, Utah. (This is the Paramount Pictures iconic mountain.)
*Back to my beloved Grand Teton National Park, WY to hike the Paintbrush Divide Trail to Cascade Canyon and down to Jenny Lake.
*Hike a slot canyon. (Not sure of which one yet but Antelope Canyon in Page, AZ or either Spooky Canyon or Peek-a-boo Canyon in UT are looking good.)
*Rock climbing along the new via-ferrata trail in Ogden, UT.
*Visiting Royal Peacock Opal Mine (to strike it rich, of course) in NV, while stopping along the way to take pics of the Donner Party’s wagon ruts on the salt flats and a pic of the Earth’s curvature (one of the only places in the world that it is visible). I will also be sure to grab another handful of salt from the Bonneville Salt Flats. (I left a ziplock baggie of it in Best Friend’s car the last time.)
*Jeeping in Moab (If we can get a small group together to do that. I’m going to be on a too-tight budget this time for just Best Friend and me.)
*Time permitting, visit Dinosaur National Monument on the Utah/Colorado border and drive up to Flaming Gorge Recreation Area north of there along the UT/WY border.
The Competition...
Okay, most of you already know about my Hotness Plan. I have been working at this for a while (but not too hard). The original adventure plan for the summer was to go on the Bahamas trip I won, but it has been pushed back to a later date now since I decided to live out west all summer. Well, thinking that I was going to be on the beach, I knew I wanted to look my best in my bikini. (yeah…I am actually going to wear one!) That was the first motivation of my Hotness Plan. The second part of the motivation hails from my desire to push my endurance limits so that I can enjoy more hiking and such.
Anyway, I informed Best Friend that I wasn’t going to slack off much from my Hotness Plan even if we weren’t going to the Bahamas because I still wanted to be hot for the summer. So she proceeds to tell me that I won’t be any hotter than her. The slamming begins. She tells me that she is going to be hotter than me because she is curvier. I laugh in her face over this preposterous statement. I have an hour-glass figure, thank you! (It just needs fine-tuning, that’s all!) I challenge her to a competition. Let’s have someone else settle this score!
She suggests that we poll people. In Utah, where she lives and knows 100 times as many people than me? Nope. I’m not going for that! We need neutral outsiders, I say. She agrees. We think of how to lure in unsuspecting men. I think we should advertise a bikini mud wrestling between us. As much as I love her, it’s going to be hard for me to humiliate her in such a defeat. But not too hard. Let the smack-down begin!
I think we should charge an admittance fee, also. It would help finance our spectacular summer.
By the way, my dear Best Friend, you are only curvier than me if you count fat rolls. Zing! ;)
Monday, April 24, 2006
My "Exciting" Weekend
This weekend was so exciting that I didn’t know what to do with myself! I went to the most interesting place on planet Earth!
Okay, so all that was a lie. I didn’t have a very exciting weekend nor did I go anywhere extremely interesting. But I did have a nice surprise, a mildly interesting trip (if you can call it that), and an overall good weekend.
The surprise
Best Friend, the flight attendant, called me on Friday and told me that she was in Atlanta and was flying back and forth from Atlanta to Florida and was to spend the night in Destin, Fl. On Saturday morning she was going to fly back to Atlanta and then in to Macon, Ga., where she would spend the night. Why Macon? Well, of course, if she is anywhere in Georgia, I would go and see her. Too bad that it was in Macon (nearly two hours away) as opposed to Atlanta (fifteen miles away to downtown.)
The mildly interesting trip
I had never really been to Macon before, except to the Macon Coliseum for a couple of events. I had never taken the time or interest to really check the town out. For me, Macon was always the Crap! I’ve still got a little over two hours before I get to Savannah point. Though, in the past, I had found the cemetery that I could see along the river from the interstate amusing and had thought about stopping by once before.
So on Saturday afternoon I began my southward journey on I-75 to Macon. Not knowing the first thing Macon and having no idea where her hotel was located. I decided to take the Riverside Drive exit because it seemed to follow closely along the interstate, yet accessible to all the main streets of town. It was a good guess because I found her hotel rather easily. It was the tallest building in little Macon, so not too difficult.
After picking up Best Friend from the hotel, she and I started out in search of good eats. We became sidetracked by the previously-mentioned cemetery, which turned out to be two really huge cemeteries…Riverside and Rose Hill Cemeteries. We took a quick drive thru of the Riverside Cemetery, but Rose Hill was most interesting. It was well-kept, yet overgrown with wildflowers. It was very hilly and actually a really scenic place along the Ocmulgee River. (Though I am sure that when we had the floods of 1994 and the Ocmulgee rose so high that it washed some of the graves away, it wasn’t such the serene, pretty place. Eww!) Rose Hill Cemetery is the resting place of several important or well-known people. A couple of the most well-known are Duane Allman and Berry Oakley of the Allman Brothers Band. We didn’t find any Allman Brothers, but we did see the grave of the designer of the General Steam Engine in that was used in the Great Locomotive Chase.
After dinner, we decided to actually drive around in the town. I found that Macon is a nice, historic town, with red brick roads in places, old Victorian buildings, and antebellum mansions. We came across the birthplace of Sydney Lanier, who was a poet that wrote lines about Georgia’s beauty. One poem is The Marshes of Glynn (describing the notable marshes of the Georgia Golden Isles) and Song of the Chattahoochee (written about the river that was later dammed up into the nasty lake that now bears his name). I also saw the most beautiful church that I think I have ever seen in my life. The architecture, the detailing, the stained glass, the rich red bricks...it was so beautiful that I wanted to live in it. haha. (Well, maybe not live there. It might crumble. haha)
I actually wished that I had brought my camera to take some pics.! Oh well, guess I’ll have to stop by there again for pics. on one of my trips to Savannah. I can always complain about the Crap! I’ve still got a little over two hours before Savannah after I have snapped a few shots.
An overall good weekend
Not only was the trip to Macon nice for the sightseeing, but because Best Friend and I made more of our summer plans. This is going to be the greatest summer of my life! I am not sure if two months will be enough to do all that we have planned! On second thought, if anyone can get the most adventure out of their little time, it’s Best Friend and me!
Then on Sunday, I went over my folks’ house and we grilled out the trout that Dad, Brother, and I caught last weekend. It was really yummy. The warm high 80s temps and the bright sunshine during our cookout this weekend has really set me in a summery mood.
I say, let the summer games begin!
Okay, so all that was a lie. I didn’t have a very exciting weekend nor did I go anywhere extremely interesting. But I did have a nice surprise, a mildly interesting trip (if you can call it that), and an overall good weekend.
The surprise
Best Friend, the flight attendant, called me on Friday and told me that she was in Atlanta and was flying back and forth from Atlanta to Florida and was to spend the night in Destin, Fl. On Saturday morning she was going to fly back to Atlanta and then in to Macon, Ga., where she would spend the night. Why Macon? Well, of course, if she is anywhere in Georgia, I would go and see her. Too bad that it was in Macon (nearly two hours away) as opposed to Atlanta (fifteen miles away to downtown.)
The mildly interesting trip
I had never really been to Macon before, except to the Macon Coliseum for a couple of events. I had never taken the time or interest to really check the town out. For me, Macon was always the Crap! I’ve still got a little over two hours before I get to Savannah point. Though, in the past, I had found the cemetery that I could see along the river from the interstate amusing and had thought about stopping by once before.
So on Saturday afternoon I began my southward journey on I-75 to Macon. Not knowing the first thing Macon and having no idea where her hotel was located. I decided to take the Riverside Drive exit because it seemed to follow closely along the interstate, yet accessible to all the main streets of town. It was a good guess because I found her hotel rather easily. It was the tallest building in little Macon, so not too difficult.
After picking up Best Friend from the hotel, she and I started out in search of good eats. We became sidetracked by the previously-mentioned cemetery, which turned out to be two really huge cemeteries…Riverside and Rose Hill Cemeteries. We took a quick drive thru of the Riverside Cemetery, but Rose Hill was most interesting. It was well-kept, yet overgrown with wildflowers. It was very hilly and actually a really scenic place along the Ocmulgee River. (Though I am sure that when we had the floods of 1994 and the Ocmulgee rose so high that it washed some of the graves away, it wasn’t such the serene, pretty place. Eww!) Rose Hill Cemetery is the resting place of several important or well-known people. A couple of the most well-known are Duane Allman and Berry Oakley of the Allman Brothers Band. We didn’t find any Allman Brothers, but we did see the grave of the designer of the General Steam Engine in that was used in the Great Locomotive Chase.
After dinner, we decided to actually drive around in the town. I found that Macon is a nice, historic town, with red brick roads in places, old Victorian buildings, and antebellum mansions. We came across the birthplace of Sydney Lanier, who was a poet that wrote lines about Georgia’s beauty. One poem is The Marshes of Glynn (describing the notable marshes of the Georgia Golden Isles) and Song of the Chattahoochee (written about the river that was later dammed up into the nasty lake that now bears his name). I also saw the most beautiful church that I think I have ever seen in my life. The architecture, the detailing, the stained glass, the rich red bricks...it was so beautiful that I wanted to live in it. haha. (Well, maybe not live there. It might crumble. haha)
I actually wished that I had brought my camera to take some pics.! Oh well, guess I’ll have to stop by there again for pics. on one of my trips to Savannah. I can always complain about the Crap! I’ve still got a little over two hours before Savannah after I have snapped a few shots.
An overall good weekend
Not only was the trip to Macon nice for the sightseeing, but because Best Friend and I made more of our summer plans. This is going to be the greatest summer of my life! I am not sure if two months will be enough to do all that we have planned! On second thought, if anyone can get the most adventure out of their little time, it’s Best Friend and me!
Then on Sunday, I went over my folks’ house and we grilled out the trout that Dad, Brother, and I caught last weekend. It was really yummy. The warm high 80s temps and the bright sunshine during our cookout this weekend has really set me in a summery mood.
I say, let the summer games begin!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
This Girl Just Wants To Have Fun!!!
Okay, so I am single. Yeah, I know it's hard to believe after reading about how awesome I am through my blog. Ha ha! See? And a great sense of humor, too. It truly is a mystery.
But I think that I have come up with a couple of possible explanations.
One possibility is there aren’t enough datable men in my area. It’s true that Atlanta has a huge gay population which rules out a significant number of men simply because I am not of their preferred sex. Also, to be honest, I don’t think I really like Georgia boys anymore. It seems like any men that I meet and have been interested in, have been from elsewhere. Many of the single Georgia boys are clueless or rednecks. (The good ones are already taken.) But Georgia Boys, if you’re reading this, feel free to prove me wrong…or boys from elsewhere please feel free to prove me right, too! It’s all good either way. ;)
The other possibility that springs to mind seems to be the more likely one. Maybe guys just don’t want to date an outdoorsy girl. Maybe I’m viewed as too tomboyish. Oh well! All I can say about that is…Yes, men, I may be able to do the same things as you (I didn’t say better, though). I may be able to tolerate sweat, peeing outdoors when necessary, skipping out on makeup when I am sleeping in the forest, and touching the slimy fish I catch. I can start my own campfires. I can carry heavy loads on my back. I can pitch my own tent. I can drive a jeep over steep rock walls. And I can do it all without your help. But there is always at least two sides of every woman. And that other side of me, which I spend most of my time being, enjoys long, warm bubble baths, wears perfume and make up, shaves her legs everyday, complains about carrying my groceries to my downstairs apartment, and even wears thongs. Does that sound girly enough for you? If not, that’s just your loss because I don’t know how to be anyone else but myself and I refuse to try.
I finally realized this a few months ago. And I completely startled myself when I discovered just how okay I am with this. I have looked hard and tried hard to find that special someone and obviously that wasn’t working. I just decided that it’s not worth all the worry and hassle.
I am an active and fairly happy person. I live for doing things on the weekend and experiencing cool travels and adventures in my spare time. My life is pretty good, after all. One day it dawned on me that I was spending too much time wishing I wasn’t viewing a magnificent sunset alone or wishing I was spooning some hot guy instead of Best Friend on a chilly camping night at Grand Teton. Everything was perfect except for those thoughts spinning in my head. When this realization struck me, I decided to live to live and not live to find love. Love will come one day. Until then, it’s time to take advantage of all the adventure and fun life has to offer. I am going to have some awesome tales to share with my grandchildren one day! And to honest, I am the only person I know besides Best Friend that is living their life this way.
On my Realization Day, I decided that I was going to (finances willing) go stay with Best Friend in Utah for the summer. I did this in the summer of 2004 and had the greatest summer of my life, traveling all over the West, hiking, whitewater rafting, and horseback riding in canyons. I felt a flutter in my heart, much like that experienced during the first kiss, when it occurred to me that I should have another summer like that. I am so excited about it! Best Friend and I have so much planned that it’s almost crazy. We will see so much and do so much and really live. And to be honest, I felt almost happy that I wasn’t in a serious relationship so that I can do this guilt-free. I feel happy to know that I am not accountable to anyone else but myself. I can do whatever I want!
A couple of lines from Cyndi Lauper springs to mind…
Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.
Oh girls just wanna have fun!
I want be the one to walk in the sun this summer. (And chances are that out there in the desert, I will! :)
Does this mean I have given up on love? No. Does this mean I don’t want to get married? No. Does this mean I think all men are jerks? Yes…err I mean, NO! NO! (Just the ones I have met). What it does mean is that I simply am not intentionally going out looking for someone. I don’t want to try to make someone be the one. I refuse to settle. Being trapped is worse than being alone. My plan is to go out have one hell’uva summer, experiencing new things, seeing new places, meeting new people, enjoying every second of my life and time out there. I am going to enjoy not being tied down right now. I am going to live my life to the fullest until I find him. And when I do find him, we will live our lives together to the fullest. (whatever that will mean to us) Anyway, the old saying goes that you always find the one when you’re not looking.
That being said, I’ll probably meet someone this summer, get married in nearby Las Vegas and live happily ever after.
Guess I win either way!
But I think that I have come up with a couple of possible explanations.
One possibility is there aren’t enough datable men in my area. It’s true that Atlanta has a huge gay population which rules out a significant number of men simply because I am not of their preferred sex. Also, to be honest, I don’t think I really like Georgia boys anymore. It seems like any men that I meet and have been interested in, have been from elsewhere. Many of the single Georgia boys are clueless or rednecks. (The good ones are already taken.) But Georgia Boys, if you’re reading this, feel free to prove me wrong…or boys from elsewhere please feel free to prove me right, too! It’s all good either way. ;)
The other possibility that springs to mind seems to be the more likely one. Maybe guys just don’t want to date an outdoorsy girl. Maybe I’m viewed as too tomboyish. Oh well! All I can say about that is…Yes, men, I may be able to do the same things as you (I didn’t say better, though). I may be able to tolerate sweat, peeing outdoors when necessary, skipping out on makeup when I am sleeping in the forest, and touching the slimy fish I catch. I can start my own campfires. I can carry heavy loads on my back. I can pitch my own tent. I can drive a jeep over steep rock walls. And I can do it all without your help. But there is always at least two sides of every woman. And that other side of me, which I spend most of my time being, enjoys long, warm bubble baths, wears perfume and make up, shaves her legs everyday, complains about carrying my groceries to my downstairs apartment, and even wears thongs. Does that sound girly enough for you? If not, that’s just your loss because I don’t know how to be anyone else but myself and I refuse to try.
I finally realized this a few months ago. And I completely startled myself when I discovered just how okay I am with this. I have looked hard and tried hard to find that special someone and obviously that wasn’t working. I just decided that it’s not worth all the worry and hassle.
I am an active and fairly happy person. I live for doing things on the weekend and experiencing cool travels and adventures in my spare time. My life is pretty good, after all. One day it dawned on me that I was spending too much time wishing I wasn’t viewing a magnificent sunset alone or wishing I was spooning some hot guy instead of Best Friend on a chilly camping night at Grand Teton. Everything was perfect except for those thoughts spinning in my head. When this realization struck me, I decided to live to live and not live to find love. Love will come one day. Until then, it’s time to take advantage of all the adventure and fun life has to offer. I am going to have some awesome tales to share with my grandchildren one day! And to honest, I am the only person I know besides Best Friend that is living their life this way.
On my Realization Day, I decided that I was going to (finances willing) go stay with Best Friend in Utah for the summer. I did this in the summer of 2004 and had the greatest summer of my life, traveling all over the West, hiking, whitewater rafting, and horseback riding in canyons. I felt a flutter in my heart, much like that experienced during the first kiss, when it occurred to me that I should have another summer like that. I am so excited about it! Best Friend and I have so much planned that it’s almost crazy. We will see so much and do so much and really live. And to be honest, I felt almost happy that I wasn’t in a serious relationship so that I can do this guilt-free. I feel happy to know that I am not accountable to anyone else but myself. I can do whatever I want!
A couple of lines from Cyndi Lauper springs to mind…
Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.
Oh girls just wanna have fun!
I want be the one to walk in the sun this summer. (And chances are that out there in the desert, I will! :)
Does this mean I have given up on love? No. Does this mean I don’t want to get married? No. Does this mean I think all men are jerks? Yes…err I mean, NO! NO! (Just the ones I have met). What it does mean is that I simply am not intentionally going out looking for someone. I don’t want to try to make someone be the one. I refuse to settle. Being trapped is worse than being alone. My plan is to go out have one hell’uva summer, experiencing new things, seeing new places, meeting new people, enjoying every second of my life and time out there. I am going to enjoy not being tied down right now. I am going to live my life to the fullest until I find him. And when I do find him, we will live our lives together to the fullest. (whatever that will mean to us) Anyway, the old saying goes that you always find the one when you’re not looking.
That being said, I’ll probably meet someone this summer, get married in nearby Las Vegas and live happily ever after.
Guess I win either way!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Gone Fishin'
On Saturday, I went trout fishing in the mountains north of Helen with my dad and brother. We decided to fish on Chattahoochee River. I have two things I want to say before I continue with my fish tale. First, trout fishing is the only kind of fishing I enjoy. I think it’s partly because I have an excuse to wade through beautiful mountain streams. Any other fishing is just plain boring to me! Second, I want to point out that we fished on the ‘Hooch (as we like to call our most famous and loved river) north of the dam. I would never eat anything that came out of that river after it has flowed through Lake Lanier. Ewwww. I know too much about that lake and what happens to our river as it flows south to the gulf.
So anyway, I got up at 4:00 a.m. to be at the river by sunrise. That’s peak biting time, ya know! I was so sleepy on the hour drive there, but as soon as I stepped out of my brother’s SUV and had the fresh, cool mountain air hit me in the face and took in the sound of the rushing water, I was ready to go.
It was so much fun! We walked a while down the river, carefully balancing ourselves over the river stones and scrambling along the banks over downed trees and other obstacles when the rapids were too much. We found many good fishing holes and (as an added bonus) we didn’t meet any other people along the way.
We have nicknamed my brother the “Babe Ruth of fishing” as he likes to brag that he is able to call his shots. Dad was upriver from us and Brother and I traveled ahead searching for a nice hole. Brother stops and points. “Here,” he says. “You want to watch me reel one in?” I sighed, “Yeah, yeah, yeah…Let’s see what you’ve got.” I was planning on continuing downriver to find my own hole, but stopped to watch him instead. He threw his line and immediately got a bite and reeled one in. With the smug look of an “expert” on his face, he turns to me and encourages me to fish here (and critiques my technique as I try). I cast a few times, noticing a couple of trout following my spinner as I reeled in. Brother tells me that I am going to get one. I cast out a couple more times and lo and behold, a Rainbow Trout took the bait and clamped down on my hook. I pulled my rod and reeled it in. I caught him and he didn’t get away! Yay! I was so proud! I guess I should clarify that this my first trout catch of the day. Earlier, I had caught a nice assortment of sticks.
It’s still fun to play in the water…errr, I meant to say…it’s still fun to fish even when you don’t catch one, but it makes it much more fun when you have a little luck and are reeling in more than just twigs and leaves. (Though I swear one of those sticks was as long as I am tall. It was a keeper!) Maybe I’ll try my luck with fly fishing on the Tallulah River next time.
I'm too sexy for my waders...
too sexy for my vest...
too sexy for my hat...
hahaha!
Having fun in the 'Hooch
By looks of it, Dad's line is hung up again while "Babe Ruth" is calling his shots.
The one I caught that didn't get away!
So anyway, I got up at 4:00 a.m. to be at the river by sunrise. That’s peak biting time, ya know! I was so sleepy on the hour drive there, but as soon as I stepped out of my brother’s SUV and had the fresh, cool mountain air hit me in the face and took in the sound of the rushing water, I was ready to go.
It was so much fun! We walked a while down the river, carefully balancing ourselves over the river stones and scrambling along the banks over downed trees and other obstacles when the rapids were too much. We found many good fishing holes and (as an added bonus) we didn’t meet any other people along the way.
We have nicknamed my brother the “Babe Ruth of fishing” as he likes to brag that he is able to call his shots. Dad was upriver from us and Brother and I traveled ahead searching for a nice hole. Brother stops and points. “Here,” he says. “You want to watch me reel one in?” I sighed, “Yeah, yeah, yeah…Let’s see what you’ve got.” I was planning on continuing downriver to find my own hole, but stopped to watch him instead. He threw his line and immediately got a bite and reeled one in. With the smug look of an “expert” on his face, he turns to me and encourages me to fish here (and critiques my technique as I try). I cast a few times, noticing a couple of trout following my spinner as I reeled in. Brother tells me that I am going to get one. I cast out a couple more times and lo and behold, a Rainbow Trout took the bait and clamped down on my hook. I pulled my rod and reeled it in. I caught him and he didn’t get away! Yay! I was so proud! I guess I should clarify that this my first trout catch of the day. Earlier, I had caught a nice assortment of sticks.
It’s still fun to play in the water…errr, I meant to say…it’s still fun to fish even when you don’t catch one, but it makes it much more fun when you have a little luck and are reeling in more than just twigs and leaves. (Though I swear one of those sticks was as long as I am tall. It was a keeper!) Maybe I’ll try my luck with fly fishing on the Tallulah River next time.
I'm too sexy for my waders...
too sexy for my vest...
too sexy for my hat...
hahaha!
Having fun in the 'Hooch
By looks of it, Dad's line is hung up again while "Babe Ruth" is calling his shots.
The one I caught that didn't get away!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Outdoorsy Girl's Top 10 Reasons to Disappear into the Wild
10. The absense of all noise except a rushing stream
(Roaring Fork Creek, Great Smokey Mountains National Park, Tennessee)
9. Becoming a part of the sunset, rather than merely viewing it through your windshield on the way home from work.(Great Smokey Mountains National Park, North Carolina.)
8. Finding snowpatches in Summer.
(Monte Cristo, Utah in June of 2004)
7. Spending time with friends.(me with Super Villain on the Appalacian Trail on the summit of Blood Mountain, Georgia....SV, I know you only look at my pics. anyway, so this is for you! haha.)
6. For the exercise.(Anyone who says that hiking with a large backpack isn't getting a workout can kiss my grits! Cumberland Island, Georgia)
5. Kicking back and taking in great views.
(Along the Appalachian Trail, Georgia)
4. Viewing and frolicking in waterfalls.(Dry Falls, Nantahala National Forest, North Carolina.)
3. Witnessing natural wonders.
(Geyser in Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming)
2. Seeing cool animals.
(Moose in Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming)
1. Getting the hell away from this!
(Atlanta, Georgia)
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Stalker-free
Today is a personal celebration of sorts, for I have been stalker-free for a month today!
Yes, until one month ago, I had a stalker. Not one of those I have a crush on you so I will follow you around and "happen to be at the same place at the same time as you" stalkers. He was an Oh my God I hope he doesn't kill me type of stalker. Here is my story...
In November, we had parent-teacher conferences. I knew that this day would be a great day to dress down and get some dirty work done, such as rearranging the supplies closet. I happened to wear my Merrell low-top hikers, which happen to look quite similar to sneakers with a good-gripping sole. Merrell rules! I will never own another brand of hiking shoes, boots, or sandals. If I want comfort, such as on this paricular day, I am in one of my pairs of Merrells.
One of the creepy dads came for his son's conference. It is important for me to stress that the only thing I said that was not in relation to his son's progress or behavioral issues was in reply to his comment about my shoes. He said, "You must be a hiker." I responded with, "Yes, Merrell is the best!"
This somehow gave him the impression that it would be okay to "talk to me privately" not about his son, but about where I go hiking, to which I always gave a vague response such as, "You know, the mountains." He is divorced from the boy's mom and his only day for pick up from school was on Wednesdays At least I only had to deal with him on Wednedays. The next thing I knew, he was slipping me his business card with phone number and creepy email address that included the words "secret santa" in it. I kid you not! He told me to contact him about a hiking trip. Of course, I didn't. Everytime I saw him he would say something like, "Everyday I think today could be the day you will email me and then you don't." He moved on to "volunteering" to do things in the classroom and staring at me and making me uncomfortable.
The uncomfortable feeling progressed into fear as time went on and he began waiting for me in the parking lot and refusing to take NO for an answer. I talked with my boss. I talked with co-workers. I let this weirdo know that he was making me uncomfortable and acting inappropriately. This did not make a difference. No one seemed to take my concerns seriously. I talked to a police officer that was a parent of student in another class. He informed me that there was really nothing I could do since Stalker, as a parent, had the right to be at the school his child attends. I told the police officer about the time Stalker waited for me in the parking lot and called out to me when I was walking to my car. I turned to go back into the building so that he would not know which car was mine, but he ran to catch up to me and grabbed me by the arm and said, "You still haven't written me or called. You must just be too busy?" I told him that no, I wasn't busy, but don't have interactions with parents outside of their children's business. He refused to accept this answer and said, "You are just too busy with the holidays about. We will go somewhere after the new year." According to the police officer, this one time did not constitute a stalking. In anger, I explained that the only reason this was a one time deal was because I now knew what vehicle he drives (a van with no backseat by the way!) and will not leave the building until he is gone, even though he waits around an hour for me and this causes me to be late to my second job at the tutoring center. This did not matter. I was terrified and no one cared.
I kept (and still keep) this creep's card on my desk. I called Best Friend and told her where it was located just in case I wound up missing (or worse) and told her to tell my uncaring police department to check this creep's van for my fingerprints if this should happen. If he would have attacked me, I would have left my prints all over his van.
An attack seems so extreme, but I really began to fear this. He became angry with my refusing to go "hike" with him. Not to go into detail, but he even made attempts to get me in trouble at work and bad-mouthed me to another parent! I would run off and hide in another classroom when I saw him coming and he would ask around for me and try to follow me. He stared at me so creepily and sometimes threateningly. I am usually not afraid of anything (except as everyone knows, snakes). I had only one really awful feeling about another human once in my life and it turned out he was a stabber. (See my post from Feb. "Stabber on the trail!") I was always watching over my shoulder. I would dread Wednesdays so much that I would not sleep a wink on Tuesday nights. I cried myself to sleep. I would get sick to my stomach. I had nightmares. I was jumpy everyday as I walked across the parking lot to my car, looking over my shoulder, finger on the trigger of the pepper spray I bought just for him.
It turns out my intuition was right-on about Stalker. The reason I am stalker free today is because this creep is under investigation for sexually abusing his own children! His ex took out a restraining order against him for the children and therefore he cannot pick up his son anymore. What a sick mo-fo! And furthermore, after chatting with the ex, she informed me that I should be very careful because he is really crazy and tried to kill her once. He beat her up pretty badly. I knew he had it in him to try to kill me. Anyone who would try to take my life, wouldn't get me without quite a fight. But it is still so scary to think that there is a possibility that someone out there may want to murder you. I will always trust my inner instinct! Always.
So today I celebrate my sanity (what little I have. haha) and I am thankful for a peaceful day's work, where I can do my job and go home and leave it behind. I again appreciate a life where I feel free to wear Merrell hiking gear without running to my car armed with pepper spray. Life is good today.
Yes, until one month ago, I had a stalker. Not one of those I have a crush on you so I will follow you around and "happen to be at the same place at the same time as you" stalkers. He was an Oh my God I hope he doesn't kill me type of stalker. Here is my story...
In November, we had parent-teacher conferences. I knew that this day would be a great day to dress down and get some dirty work done, such as rearranging the supplies closet. I happened to wear my Merrell low-top hikers, which happen to look quite similar to sneakers with a good-gripping sole. Merrell rules! I will never own another brand of hiking shoes, boots, or sandals. If I want comfort, such as on this paricular day, I am in one of my pairs of Merrells.
One of the creepy dads came for his son's conference. It is important for me to stress that the only thing I said that was not in relation to his son's progress or behavioral issues was in reply to his comment about my shoes. He said, "You must be a hiker." I responded with, "Yes, Merrell is the best!"
This somehow gave him the impression that it would be okay to "talk to me privately" not about his son, but about where I go hiking, to which I always gave a vague response such as, "You know, the mountains." He is divorced from the boy's mom and his only day for pick up from school was on Wednesdays At least I only had to deal with him on Wednedays. The next thing I knew, he was slipping me his business card with phone number and creepy email address that included the words "secret santa" in it. I kid you not! He told me to contact him about a hiking trip. Of course, I didn't. Everytime I saw him he would say something like, "Everyday I think today could be the day you will email me and then you don't." He moved on to "volunteering" to do things in the classroom and staring at me and making me uncomfortable.
The uncomfortable feeling progressed into fear as time went on and he began waiting for me in the parking lot and refusing to take NO for an answer. I talked with my boss. I talked with co-workers. I let this weirdo know that he was making me uncomfortable and acting inappropriately. This did not make a difference. No one seemed to take my concerns seriously. I talked to a police officer that was a parent of student in another class. He informed me that there was really nothing I could do since Stalker, as a parent, had the right to be at the school his child attends. I told the police officer about the time Stalker waited for me in the parking lot and called out to me when I was walking to my car. I turned to go back into the building so that he would not know which car was mine, but he ran to catch up to me and grabbed me by the arm and said, "You still haven't written me or called. You must just be too busy?" I told him that no, I wasn't busy, but don't have interactions with parents outside of their children's business. He refused to accept this answer and said, "You are just too busy with the holidays about. We will go somewhere after the new year." According to the police officer, this one time did not constitute a stalking. In anger, I explained that the only reason this was a one time deal was because I now knew what vehicle he drives (a van with no backseat by the way!) and will not leave the building until he is gone, even though he waits around an hour for me and this causes me to be late to my second job at the tutoring center. This did not matter. I was terrified and no one cared.
I kept (and still keep) this creep's card on my desk. I called Best Friend and told her where it was located just in case I wound up missing (or worse) and told her to tell my uncaring police department to check this creep's van for my fingerprints if this should happen. If he would have attacked me, I would have left my prints all over his van.
An attack seems so extreme, but I really began to fear this. He became angry with my refusing to go "hike" with him. Not to go into detail, but he even made attempts to get me in trouble at work and bad-mouthed me to another parent! I would run off and hide in another classroom when I saw him coming and he would ask around for me and try to follow me. He stared at me so creepily and sometimes threateningly. I am usually not afraid of anything (except as everyone knows, snakes). I had only one really awful feeling about another human once in my life and it turned out he was a stabber. (See my post from Feb. "Stabber on the trail!") I was always watching over my shoulder. I would dread Wednesdays so much that I would not sleep a wink on Tuesday nights. I cried myself to sleep. I would get sick to my stomach. I had nightmares. I was jumpy everyday as I walked across the parking lot to my car, looking over my shoulder, finger on the trigger of the pepper spray I bought just for him.
It turns out my intuition was right-on about Stalker. The reason I am stalker free today is because this creep is under investigation for sexually abusing his own children! His ex took out a restraining order against him for the children and therefore he cannot pick up his son anymore. What a sick mo-fo! And furthermore, after chatting with the ex, she informed me that I should be very careful because he is really crazy and tried to kill her once. He beat her up pretty badly. I knew he had it in him to try to kill me. Anyone who would try to take my life, wouldn't get me without quite a fight. But it is still so scary to think that there is a possibility that someone out there may want to murder you. I will always trust my inner instinct! Always.
So today I celebrate my sanity (what little I have. haha) and I am thankful for a peaceful day's work, where I can do my job and go home and leave it behind. I again appreciate a life where I feel free to wear Merrell hiking gear without running to my car armed with pepper spray. Life is good today.
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