Liar, Liar

Wow! It’s been quite a while since my last post! I’ll bet all of you have been wondering what has happened to me …errrr, well, maybe not! I have been a MIA blogger since my birthday. But that’s not because my life has not been totally exciting since that weekend in Memphis! In fact, my life has reached it’s all time high on the excitement scale!

Does anyone remember the Jim Carrey movie, Liar, Liar? Well, I happened to see this movie just a week before my birthday. In this movie a disappointed little boy wishes that his father could not tell a lie for 24 hours and he blows out his birthday candles. Lo and behold, his wish is granted! Well, if it could work for him then maybe…

So I closed my eyes, and wished with all my might. Oh, how I wish Orlando Bloom was my boyfriend! Then I blew out the candles on my cake. (All 21 of them! ;) )

Just imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning to Orlando gently stroking my hair and speaking to me in his sexy British accent, “Good morning, baby. Thought you’d like to go on a road trip.” My wish had been granted!*

Let me tell you, we had a blast! First we went on a hike in the desert somewhere. You know, he’s quite an outdoorsy guy! We hiked for miles and miles until we fell asleep under the stars. He’s so romantic! This is a picture of him that I took while we were hiking somewhere in the desert. Isn’t he hot? But you know what? It’s rather cold somewhere in the desert during this time of year. It was like Orlando could read my mind or something when he suggested that we should just fly down to Aruba for some warm weather.

Aruba was awesome! We did some snorkeling and sailing and had some of the most stimulating conversations that I’ve ever experienced in my life! We had so many exciting stories to share and you just wouldn’t believe how similar our adventures are! Like he told me that one time when he was in St. Vincent filming Pirates of the Caribbean, a shark almost attacked him and Johnny Depp. And one time I when I was hiking alone in the Red River Gorge in Kentucky I twisted my knee! Oh yeah, and he had been to Kentucky, too, when he filmed Elizabethtown! See how much we have in common? It’s almost eerie!

Shortly after the trip to Aruba, things began to go terribly wrong. I mean Orlando is such a sweet guy, but man did he become possessive! He tried to start a fight with every man we walked by. I tried to explain to him that when he and I were out in public together, that it is just natural that I will be checked out! Then he began to smother me so that I had not one moment alone!

But then suddenly, while we were out at an incredibly expensive restaurant in London (you know, he wanted me to meet his parents!) he suddenly dropped on one knee and proposed marriage to me!** I was speechless! But as I regained my composure and tried to reply, “YESSSSSSSSS”, he pulled out the ring. I’ll tell you the truth, I didn’t like the look of it nor did I like the look in his eye! It was almost as if he wanted to give me that ring to control me! I just couldn’t do it. I sadly had to tell him no. It was heartbreaking but, you know, a girl like me needs her freedom! I gotta be the one to walk in the sun. ;)

It’s been a rough couple of days, but I decided to go back to work today. I’m sure that I will get over this. I just hope that he recovers as easily.
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*Ok, ok! I’m a liar, liar! This didn’t really happen. I know it was very convincing, but not true. I hope I didn’t fool anyone too much.

And yeah, I’ve got nothing right now—no excitement—nothing! I just felt guilty for being a blog slacker and leaving you people hanging, so I wrote a filler post. I wrote these lies for YOU, people!

**Just to clarify, if this had been true, I would have said yes regardless of the fact that he wanted to possess me with The One Ring.