Another sweet weekend, Another great adventure

On Saturday, I went to Kentucky's “cave country” with my friend, Germaphobe. Yes, this is another one of my “crazy” trips that left friends and family exclaiming, “You drove all the way to Kentucky just for the day?!?!” To which I responded, “Of course! Why not?”

Mammoth Cave National Park was one of the N.P.s that I had not yet made it to until this weekend so I was pretty excited to go. Germaphobe was as excited as I was. After our tour of Mammoth Cave, we would have the rest of the day free to find something else interesting to do in the area. We stopped by a Tennessee Rest Area/ Visitor Information Center and picked up a dozen or so brochures. (It’s amazing that I can still find things I want to do in TN. even after the million or so times I have visited.) However, nothing in Tennessee was along our trail this time, so we stopped at the Kentucky Visitor Center after crossing the state line. Here, Germaphobe discovered two things that made her extremely happy. One of the things was a super-powered hand dryer in the restroom. She could not only wash those germs away, but blow them away! When I tell you that this was a powerful dryer, it is an understatement. That dryer could blast the skin off your bones! I seriously believe that it is sanitary enough to stick one’s hands under the dryer without prior washing. Nothing, not even the most despicable microorganisms, could survive that blast of air! Her second important discovery was a pamphlet for the Lost River Cave. She was drawn in by the photo on the cover of a smiling group of people riding in a boat through the cave’s river. “Ooooo, I want to ride the boat!” she exclaimed. I concurred. It did look pretty cool and I had never taken a boat ride in any of the other caves I had visited. As a bonus, it was in Bowling Green, Ky. right along the way. We decided to make that our other to-do for the day.

We continued merrily on our way and decided to refuel before hitting Mammoth Cave. No most BP stations are fairly nice in my opinion and this particular BP claimed to be a “travel center” so this is where we chose to stop. I should have known by the way the pump slowly dripped gasoline into my tank, that this place might have been a bit outdated. Seriously, it should not take 15 minutes to fill up my Honda Civic’s small tank! I did not heed this foreboding warning that something culture-shocking may be awaiting me on the other side of the BP’s door. Before I continue, I must first say that I am a true, born Southerner so I don’t mean to offend. Second, it has been my experience that Kentuckians are nice, good people. With that being said, Germaphobe and I opened the door and walked into a world of every fulfilled southern stereotype imaginable. There was no travel center that I could see, but there was, instead, a restaurant that reeked of fried catfish, fried chicken, fried okra, fried green tomatoes, and other greasy, fried side dishes. The array of people dining on these heart-attack-on-a-platter meals seemed to be toothless, bearded, and dressed in overalls. I couldn’t bare to look long enough to notice if any of them were also barefoot. The only thing missing was the music of Dueling Banjos. I cut my eyes over at Germaphobe who was side-glancing right back at me. We tried to ward off our growing, pent-up laughter. And we fought off the urge to turn around and hightail it back to the car. We didn’t want to be rude, so we quickly browsed around the “travel center”, holding our breaths so we wouldn’t choke on the cigarette smoke which was thick as pea soup. I knew that we must hurry before someone tried to be friendly and introduce us to their wife and sister and we, in horror, look to see only one person standing there! We made a run for it, gasping for fresh air and bursting out our dammed-up laughter as we jumped into my car.

We arrived at Mammoth Cave shortly after leaving “Hillbilly Junction”. We had an hour before our tour began so we explored the area. We walked to the Historic/Natural Entrance to the cave. We went ahead and bought tee shirts from the gift store since we had the time. (Note to Super Villain: Yes, I did buy a souvenir thimble for you. I know how you love to collect them. haha)

We took a tour of the Frozen Niagara section of the cave. As we were sitting on the bus that would take us to that entrance of the cave, the ranger tells us about the 300+ steps we would have climb down into the cave. I can feel Germaphobe giving me the evil eye for “forgetting” to mention this part of the tour. I look down at my hands, pretending to pick at my nails and acting oblivious of the knowledge of that steep stairway. As soon as the ranger asked for questions, Germaphobe’s hand shot up in the air.

“You told us about the three-hundred and something stairs down, but you didn’t mention how we were getting out.”

The ranger reassured us that we did not come back out the same way. There would not be 300+ steps to walk up. Germaphobe sighed a breath of relief. So did I. She did not want to face a steep climb. I did not want to face an angry Germaphobe.

I never thought that we would stop descending the never-ending stairs. Were we going to the Frozen Niagara or were we going to Hell? Finally we made it to the bottom. To my relief there was no pitchfork or devil waiting at the bottom.

We were in a dry section of the cave. Without water to drip and deposit minerals, there were not any formations in this part of the cave. I had never seen a cave like this without stalagmites, stalagtites, and columns. It was interesting to be walking in solid rock under the earth. At one point, the ranger cut off the lighting and we were asked to sit in silence in the darkness to experience the natural state of the cave. I only know how to describe that feeling as “suffocating”.

Moving forward, we finally reached the wet part and highlight of the cave tour. Magnificent formations were everywhere as we walked through the Frozen Niagara and Drapery Room. These types of formations were familiar to me from my previous caving experiences, but the size of these mineral-growths were not familiar. I never had seen anything so huge! They were…well, mammoth in size! It was beautiful and colorful. I was “kissed” many times by the dripping cave as I strolled through this section.

It was a great experience and now I can say that I have been in the world’s largest cave system.

After checking out a few more things like the cemetery that allots eternal rest to the first Mammoth Cave tour guide and a couple of scenic viewpoints, we headed for our second destination down the road in Bowling Green, The Lost River Cave.

The Lost River Cave is saturated with so many levels of history! Being the huge history buff I am, I loved this place! In fact, I think that it deserves its own post. I will jot down a historical time line and pull up some of my photos for my next post. So stay tuned! (But please be careful sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation. I would hate for you to fall!)

Anyway, to continue with the rest of our day…Germaphobe called the Lost River Cave’s office to see if we needed to book reservations for the boat ride. They had just sold out of tickets moments before. I have never seen her so broken hearted as I did at that moment. (And I have seen her broken hearted many times, as she seems to have as many letdowns with “that guy” (mentioned in my last post) as I have!)

“But I wanted to ride the boat!” she whined.

I whined along with her. Silence.

“Do you think maybe someone will get sick and cancel?” she asked hopefully.

“Anything is possible,” I say. More silence.

“Awww, I really wanted to go!” she moaned. Another pause of silence.

“Let’s go anyway. Maybe they will feel sorry for us and make room for us,” she said.

I replied that it was okay with me. So we exited the interstate into Bowling Green and found our way to the cave. We walked into the office prepared to beg and plead.

Germaphobe really sucked up to and sweet-talked the ticket seller. She finally concluded with the ticket seller, “Are you sure you can’t kick two people off for us?”

He smiled sweetly and replied, “I would if I could because you’ve been so nice about it.”

But…he couldn’t… so he didn’t. And as we stood there ticket-less, he told us that we were allowed to walk the trails down to and around the cave. We took advantage of this and had a blast! I have to admit that for a moment I wondered if Germaphobe might have hijacked a boat.

We found out many amazing things about the cave that I will reveal on my next post. (I know you can’t wait!)

We left Bowling Green and headed for Nashville, TN. Nashville is like a second home to me. I go there all the time, but I don’t know why. There really isn’t that much to do there and I am not a country music nut, but there is something about the city’s atmosphere that calls me back over and over again. I have a favorite restaurant in downtown called Demos’ that I was looking forward to sharing with Germaphobe. As always, it was delicious, but the wait was nearly an hour. That gave me plenty of time to take Germaphobe on my “special” Downtown Nashville Tour. I showed her the bright lights of Broadway (the main street in downtown, that is), the bar scene including the Wild Horse Saloon (Yee-haw!), Riverfront Park along the Cumberland River, Fort Nashborough ( a scaled-down replica of Nashville’s original settlement) and the Ryman Auditorium. I also made sure to make several references to the BellSouth Building a/k/a the “Devil Building” to me. Yes, I do realize that the people of Nashville refer to their oddly shaped BellSouth Tower as the “Bat Tower”. Yeah, I can see the Batman resemblance, but the first time I saw that building I asked the friend I was traveling with, “What’s up with that building? It looks like the devil!” Ever since, it has been “The Devil” to me.

After our delicious dinner at Demos’ we headed for my favorite coffee shop, Bongo Java. I needed something strong for the nearly four hour drive back home. I walked into the coffee shop and asked for the strongest thing the guy taking orders could brew up. He asked how important taste was to me. I told him that it was not very high on the totem pole at this point. He looked like a bartender as the mixed my caffeinated beverage like pro. He took a coffee blend that was already high in caffeine and then added two shots of espresso and a spoonful of caramel and a dab of whipped cream. It worked. Five hours later, well past 3:30 a.m., I was reading my latest edition of Backpacker Magazine still shaking like a live wire and hoping for sleep to take over my exhausted body.




Enormous formations inside of Mammoth Cave.











Some formations were quite colorful.










Germaphobe and Outdoorsy Girl pose just outside of the Frozen Niagara.






An eerie shot that I converted to a black and white shot of water dripping in the cave.









Nashville's "Devil" looks down over its city.