Thursday, May 10, 2007

Sleepless in Atlanta

Maybe I should come up with an alliteration. "Sleepless" only goes well with Seattle. How about "Awake in Atlanta"?

'Cause that's what I am now. And I have been for days on end. Insomnia, not incredible pain or death, is what you should wish on your worst enemy. It's far crueler.

What is keeping me awake these days? Nothing! Besides being totally burned out at work (teaching at my day job for 8 hrs. without a break and then going immediately down the street to teach a class at a tutoring center and then giving a private tutoring session afterwards) all is well in my life. That's what stinks the most...if there is no cause, then there is no cure!

At least I've discovered a way to cope! Say good-bye to coffee. When you can drink a whole pot alone and do a hundred or so jumping jacks and still nearly fall asleep on your feet, I declare it highly ineffective. And Green Tea? Useless!

After experimenting with Cocaine, I found that it burns going down and does nothing for artificial alertness. I realized just how severe my condition had become when I had to resort to Cocaine for help.
Seriously, this crap burns! I have to admit that it woke me up for a few brief moments when I felt that my throat and esophogus were being eaten through by acid. Then I started nodding off again.
I am not quite sure what Taurine is (and I must admit that the last 5 letters there scare me a little) but it has 750 mg of this substance in that little can! Also, it contains 600% the RDI of Vitamin B-12. So does this mean I can skip taking my Flintstone vitamins for six days?
Luckily, I found a better alternative to my Coke habit (which had not fully formed, thank God!) Here's my new cup of life:
Ram Jam Lite! With 160 mg of caffeine, 0 carbs, and the taste of Mello-Yellow, I'm totally hooked. Well, at least for as long as I need a good jolt of awareness.
It's a shame that I have only been able to find Ram Jam in one chain of service stations. I feel sorry for all you sleepy heads who live in places without QuikTrips.
Until I find sleep, I have Ram Jam.
Maybe I should just give up energy drinks all together and invest in some Dramamine. It's apparently so effective in delivering sweet sleep to me that I barely acknowledge my best friend trying to wreck my car.
Sleep tight, all you lucky bloggers who can. You suck.

14 comments:

Keshi said...

I missed my Outdoorsy!

**if there is no cause, then there is no cure!

I agree.

Say gb to coffee? NO WAYS. Thats the only kind of life running thru my veins right now.


**I realized just how severe my condition had become when I had to resort to Cocaine for help.

u didnt try Cocaine, did ya??


Keshi.

Keshi said...

lolz I just noticed the Cocaine pic!!!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

btw Im a hopeless insomniac when I have something worrying me...which is like 24/7.

Keshi.

SS said...

I thought they pulled cocaine from all the stores because of complaints about the name. I swear I read that this week. Sounds like you won't miss it though.

Scary Monster said...

Take coffee out of me life and you would have one seriously deranged Monster running around.
Me never has a problem getting to sleep, but me often wakes up in the middle of the night and can't get the sandman to visit again, so me ends up roaming around the house like a spectre or blogging until daybreak.

Maybe that's why me skin color be so bad...Yawn-STOMP.

yrautca said...

The drinks are keeping you awake. I can send you some good math books. half a page is good for 8 hours of carefree sleep.

Jen said...

I have trouble sleeping lately too. Instead of trying to artificially stay awake, how about trying to artificially sleep? Three ExcedrinPM and a Melatonin tablet knock me out within and hour and I sleep like the dead for 8 hours. Melatonin has the great side effect of causing really vivid, surreal dreams!

Keshi said...

hows u sweetie? Im sleepless in Sydney these days...I've got the FLU :(

Keshi.

The Grunt said...

I just discovered the great taste of Full Throttle "Blue Demon". If it makes you feel any better I didn't sleep at all Saturday night. It wasn't because I was having fun either. It sucked big time. I have been routinely going to bed around 3:00 AM, so I am right there with you on all of this. I haven't heard of the drink "Cocaine". It sounds dangerous to your health.

Anonymous said...

Ram Jam is made by Quicktrip corp. You will not be able to find it anywhere. Take some sleeping pills, they help you sleep. oh sweet sleep.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

SS...I thought they pulled it, too! And then when I saw it, I had to try it. Bleh! They should definitely full that crap!

Keshi...I hope your feeling better! The flu really sucks. :(

Scary M...That's other problem with my sleep habits...STAYING asleep!

Yrautca...That's the problem, even the drinks won't wake me up--yet I can never completely fall asleep! Ugh. It will pass, though. It always does. But if it doesn't I'll ask you to send me one of those fascinating math books. lol.

Jen...Thanks for stopping by! I am thinking about trying your plan next. Artificial sleep (pills) beats the sleep substitute (drinks!)!!!

Grunt...I've tried Full Throttle, Rockstar, and Monster and none of them help me--only Ram Jam. Isn't that sad? I hope your sleeping situation improves, too! Aren't the two of us always complaining about this? lol. And yeah, I'm pretty sure Cocaine is bad for your health.

E...Well that explains why I can only find them at QT! And yay...I got 2 comments from E.!!!! :)

The Grunt said...

Okay, this video is not very pure, so don't get on my case. But I love the song. It immediately popped into my head when I read the post and I had to go search for it.

Here's the link to the Queen's of the Stone Age's video Feelgood Hit of the Summer. The chorus is the part that you should listen to.

The Grunt said...

I just heard about this: caffinated soap. I'm thinking that you should do a review on it.

The Grunt said...

Caffeinated! There, I learned how to spell.