Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Only a dream

I had a dream last night that really caused me to ponder my life.

In my dream... I was sitting on my bed reading a book or magazine. I gazed over at a fully packed backpack leaned up against my bookshelf. I spoke aloud, "I'm just gonna do it. It's time." I picked up my cat (who I love dearly) kissed her and sat her down on my bed. I reached for my cell phone and hit a button on it that (my phone in real life doesn't have) that said Delete All Contacts. Without hesitation I hit the button, pulled the battery out (not sure what the point in that was) and dropped it to the floor. I grabbed my backpack and walked out of the door for the last time.

I got into my car and drove it until it ran out of gas then I ditched it. The next thing I did was push my car into a lake on the side of the road that suddenly appeared. I placed the pack upon my back and disappeared into the wooded hillside. This trail I walked along was magically beautiful. Every color was intense and every sound was so quiet. The last thing I saw before I woke up was a shimmering blue lake and the snow-capped mountains that surrounded it off in the distance. That's when my alarm went off.

I was puzzled. I often have dreams that I remember and usually I can figure out what triggered them. I wondered as I stepped into the shower and as I brushed my teeth and was still left clueless as I drove to work this morning.

I will admit that there are times when I want to vanish away to some new place and start a new life without anyone in the world knowing where I went. I also know that I couldn't do that to the people who love me. I have admitted this to only a couple of people, one of them being my mother. It's no wonder that she has a panic attack each time she finds out that I have bought a one-way ticket to somewhere. Poor woman.

Even though I would not relocate my life without letting anyone know where I was going and certainly not decide to backpack my way through life, I was still left wondering what it was in the dream that had made me want to basically erase my existance to the people I love. I am pretty sure that the reason I chose to disappear down a trail with a backpack was influenced by the research I have been doing lately on backpacking the John Muir Trail. Why I no longer wanted to talk to my friends and family anymore is very strange to me. And I guess that's why we mutter away our questions in our alert minds raised by our subconcious thoughts while we're sleeping away by shrugging our shoulders and saying, "It was only a dream."

Snap! Back to reality... In real life, I just begun my training for hiking the 200+ mile John Muir Trail in California. I am hoping that these 8 months will get me in the shape I need to be in to tackle it. I am hoping to backpack it with Best Friend in July. But unlike the dream, I am also planning on writing down a detailed itenerary for everyone and returning (alive I hope!) back home.

Go me!

10 comments:

yrautca said...

Well I also sometimes feel like disappearing.

I am very envious of your Cali plans. All power to you.

SS said...

Go you indeed! How amazing!

It's funny because your dream is exactly like this movie I just saw called "Into the Wild" (I'm guessing you know about it though, being the outdoorsy gal that you are). The guy gave away all his money to charity, left without telling anyone, drove until his car broke down, burned the few bills he still had in his pocket, and bummed his way to Alaska where he "lived off the land" and kept contact with no one. True story. And, true that he died of starvation in the Alaskan wilderness thinking this was the worst idea ever (according to his journal).

I hope you stick around... and stay with safe travels... in your "real" life ;)

Keshi said...

Thats a beautiful dream btw. Cos in real we can never be alone in a beautiful place like that..well not for too long anyways :)

btw plz take part in my current post :):)

Keshi.

Scary Monster said...

Been there, Stomped that!

And lived to tell the tale.

The Grunt said...

In dreams like those I've always returned home, so I guess I just wanted a vacation.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you walk away to see who will miss you? Trust me I would miss you.

Tai said...

Go YOU!
Yeah, sometimes a dream is just a dream....

tsduff said...

Your trip to California sounds fabulous! All that hiking sounds simply - well, like hard work!! What a great idea. I always love reading your blog becasue you actualy go out and do things, instead of just thinking about doing them.

I wouldn't worry too much about the dream... man alive, if even a percentage of my dreams had any real meaning I'd be in trouble!

Lindsey said...

I've had those dreams...however, last night I dreamt that I had a baby and someone tried to steal her away...THAT was wierd.

Keshi said...

hey babez the secret's out in my blog ;-)

ur gonna be pretty amused :)

Keshi.