Only a dream

I had a dream last night that really caused me to ponder my life.

In my dream... I was sitting on my bed reading a book or magazine. I gazed over at a fully packed backpack leaned up against my bookshelf. I spoke aloud, "I'm just gonna do it. It's time." I picked up my cat (who I love dearly) kissed her and sat her down on my bed. I reached for my cell phone and hit a button on it that (my phone in real life doesn't have) that said Delete All Contacts. Without hesitation I hit the button, pulled the battery out (not sure what the point in that was) and dropped it to the floor. I grabbed my backpack and walked out of the door for the last time.

I got into my car and drove it until it ran out of gas then I ditched it. The next thing I did was push my car into a lake on the side of the road that suddenly appeared. I placed the pack upon my back and disappeared into the wooded hillside. This trail I walked along was magically beautiful. Every color was intense and every sound was so quiet. The last thing I saw before I woke up was a shimmering blue lake and the snow-capped mountains that surrounded it off in the distance. That's when my alarm went off.

I was puzzled. I often have dreams that I remember and usually I can figure out what triggered them. I wondered as I stepped into the shower and as I brushed my teeth and was still left clueless as I drove to work this morning.

I will admit that there are times when I want to vanish away to some new place and start a new life without anyone in the world knowing where I went. I also know that I couldn't do that to the people who love me. I have admitted this to only a couple of people, one of them being my mother. It's no wonder that she has a panic attack each time she finds out that I have bought a one-way ticket to somewhere. Poor woman.

Even though I would not relocate my life without letting anyone know where I was going and certainly not decide to backpack my way through life, I was still left wondering what it was in the dream that had made me want to basically erase my existance to the people I love. I am pretty sure that the reason I chose to disappear down a trail with a backpack was influenced by the research I have been doing lately on backpacking the John Muir Trail. Why I no longer wanted to talk to my friends and family anymore is very strange to me. And I guess that's why we mutter away our questions in our alert minds raised by our subconcious thoughts while we're sleeping away by shrugging our shoulders and saying, "It was only a dream."

Snap! Back to reality... In real life, I just begun my training for hiking the 200+ mile John Muir Trail in California. I am hoping that these 8 months will get me in the shape I need to be in to tackle it. I am hoping to backpack it with Best Friend in July. But unlike the dream, I am also planning on writing down a detailed itenerary for everyone and returning (alive I hope!) back home.

Go me!