I Dream Of...Scary Things.

I rarely have memorable dreams (mostly due to the fact that I rarely sleep) but it still happens from time to time. And when I do remember my dreams, they can be quite entertaining. I have dreamed of such hilarious things that I wake up laughing. I have awakened angry, confused, and extremely happy because of my dreams. I have even had a few dreams that have come true exactly as dreamed. However, the most common type of dreams I have are of natural disasters.

I have dreamed that I was on the Gulf of Mexico when a ferocious category 5 hurricane blew in tsunami-style waves that were high enough to blow completely over the hotel I was staying in on the beach. I watched in terror from my balcony as the slow motion wave moved in closer and closer until I ran to the center of the room screaming and then watched the wave sweep over the building and until dark water covers the windows. Then it recedes and I am fine—and dry!

I have had many tornado dreams. I have actually been in a tornado (well, not in it like Dorothy, but the funnel touched down less than a mile from my house) so the details in the tornado dream are always vivid and realistic. Of the numerous times I have had the tornado dream, the story is always the same: I see tornado coming. I take cover and hear it roar by. Stuff flies all around me and things break. I emerge unhurt in the end.

I have survived earthquakes and avalanches in my dreams, too. In fact, the common theme seems to be that I can survive any natural disaster—except one. And unfortunately, it is the recurring dream that I have the most. I dream that a giant meteor hits the earth with great detail at least 4 times a year. No one survives, not even me, the great natural disaster escapist.

Here’s the latest version of the dream I just had early this week:

I am best friends with this guy that I have known since my elementary school days. I’ll call him Skip. (Because that is his real name. Why invent a code name when your real name is something like that?) Now, in real life, Skip and I weren’t friends when we met in the fourth grade. Let’s take a trip down memory lane…He was one of those mean, stinky boys who liked to pop girls’ bra straps. I remember when our teacher Mrs. Parr moved his desk right next to mine. He was moved because he was torturing Beth. I looked right at him before he even had a chance to take his new seat and said, “Don’t you even look at me, Skip!” He replied with a wry smile, “I don’t want to.” I stuck my tongue out at him and flipped my long hair over my shoulder. About five minutes later he began throwing little pieces of wet wadded up paper at me. I glared at him. “I said you better not bother me!” In a mocking tone he retorted, “No you didn’t! You said not to look at you. You didn’t say anything about not throwing spitballs at you!” I gasp. “Ewwww! Groooooss! I hate you Skip!” Flash ahead a few years and you’d see that he wasn’t much better in high school. He did turn into somewhat of a ladies’ man, though I couldn’t understand why. And he never could understand why I kept telling him that I didn’t want to go out with him in his redneck truck, though he specified that he wouldn’t shoot spitballs at me this time, but he said he couldn’t guarantee that there wouldn’t be some spitting going on. Ewww! He was such a great catch.

So back to the dream…He and I were all chummy. But it was one of those circumstances that I knew that I liked him more than in just a best friend kind of way. (I’m trying not to gag.) Now Skip must have grown a brain or something because in this dream he had a very good, high paying job with either NASA or some other government agency with access to knowledge that the general public is kept in the dark about.

Skip and I spent every day going out after work, discussing our work days. I was excited because I had started to notice signs that maybe Skip liked me in a more that best friend type way, too. (Yuck) One weekend, my darling Skip came over. We were in my room. We had just finished watching a movie and were lying side by side on the bed. (My skin is crawling.) Suddenly, he turns to me, cups the sides of my face with his hands and looks deep in my eyes and said, “I have to tell you that what we were worried about is going to happen.” I begin to cry because I know that a meteor was going to strike. I asked him, “Do you know when? I mean don’t tell me when, but do you know?” With a serious look upon his face, he replies, “Yes. I know when…almost to the hour.” Blinking back tears and swallowing with difficulty I asked, “It’s soon isn’t it? I mean don’t tell me when, but it’s soon, isn’t it?” He nodded a solemn yes then added, “But you have enough time to accomplish some of the things you’ve always wanted to do.” I think this over and then ball like a girly-girl. Between sobs, I manage to say, “No..I-I d-don’t! The only thing I w-w-want to d-do is get m-m-married to a m-man I love before I die.” Being the sweet, caring friend that Skip was, he listened to my dream of marrying the man of my dreams who just so happened to be him. (As sad as that fact stands.) After listening to me ball my eyes out, I ask him if anyone else knows and if the news will ever be revealed to the public. “No,” he said. “The only people that know are the people in my office and of course, the Oval Office. There is nothing that can be done to prevent the meteor. We have studied it for years and there is nothing to be done about one that’s nearly half the size of the moon. It will destroy Earth. The agency has decided that it would be best to not cause panic over something that can’t be stopped. Life should go on as usual.” In dreamy, tear filled eyes I ask Skip, “So why did you tell me?” He smiled. “Because I care for you so much more than you know and I would feel like I was betraying you by not sharing something this important with you.” And then he (I’m really about to get sick) kissed me.

The next day, Skip showed up at my place with an engagement ring and said that he loved me and wanted to make my dreams of marriage come true. He reassured me that we would have enough time left to enjoy our lives together. So we flew off to Vegas and got married. (Ick.) He made my dream of staying in a cabin complete with a hot tub in the snowcapped mountains by a clear, flowing mountain stream come true on our honeymoon. Supposedly, we were in Colorado, but I tried to argue with him that it was the Uintas, but he didn’t listen to me. He said we were near Aspen because he could see Pike’s Peak (which is actually near Colorado Springs, not Aspen) Anyway, wherever we were, I had this dread in my heart. I knew that my life was going to end at any given moment. I suspected that, by Skip fulfilling my dream honeymoon, meant that the meteor was fast on its way. Skip, after all, had mentioned that there was nothing more than he wanted than for me to die happy.

So we skied, we hiked, we enjoyed the hot tub, and enjoyed some good food. On the third day, he suggested that we say in that night and dine in our cabin. I knew this was it. I didn’t have to ask; I just knew. I called my family and friends who couldn’t understand why I was so sad talking to them while I was on my honeymoon and why I couldn’t say enough how much I loved them and how I wished I could see them.

That evening, I could hardly eat. Skip was acting very nervous and glancing at the clock. The darkness of night fell upon the mountain range. Skip and I sat in candlelight acting very lovey-dovey and emotional. Then there was a brightness outside the window and I began to run toward the window to look out. Skip tries to hold me back but I reassure him that I knew what was happening, so we walk hand-in-hand to the window and look skyward. Hundreds of small fireballs were falling from the sky like beautiful, streaming fireworks on the Fourth of July. Small fires were beginning to blaze in the nearby forest. “It’s beautiful”, I whisper as I begin to cry. Skip pulls me closer. Then the sky was filled with a fireball so big and bright that I couldn’t bear to look at it. The two of us fell to our knees, facedown to the ground still holding hands. The light was so intensely bright. “I love you,” I heard him mutter but before I could respond I heard the loudest boom and felt an unbearable heat that lasted for less than a second. Then there was nothing.

…except the bump of me hitting the floor as I fell out of my bed in real life. I woke up breathless. The dream felt so real. My falling scared my cat who was sleeping on the bottom of my bed with me so much that she ran under the bed. I lay there panting for a while on my floor. The cat came out from under the bed and began to sniff me to make sure I was still alive. I finally got up and got into my bed…just in time for my alarm clock to go off and send me into cardiac arrest for the second time.

At work that very same day, one of my co-workers mentioned to me that she had just read that a large meteor s aligned to strike Earth in about 20 years. My heart sank. I seriously wonder if this might happen one day. I have dreamed it so many times. And unlike all my other brave natural disaster dreams, I do not live to tell the tale.

Now, if you’ll pardon me for a moment, I have some issues to take up with God…
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy…Ok God, I’m just going to level with you. If it is your will to destroy Earth with fire, I can accept this. But come on! Skip? Are you kidding me? I mean, if I am going to burn alive in a frightening death, isn’t that enough? Is it too much to ask you to send me Orlando Bloom for a husband instead, if only for 3 days? (Come on...or at least someone I at least like as a friend!) Amen.

Okay, I'm back. I hope your dreams are sweeter than mine. :)